The Fast Lane Sucks

Ever get that feeling when you lay your head on your pillow at night, just before you doze off, that the day flew by? I'm not talking about a busy day, filled with appointments, errands, etc... I'm talking about so much stuff going on in a day that when the next day comes, you feel like what you did yesterday was really a week ago. What is that all about? I can remember when cell phones were invented. We were lucky enough to have a father who loved new technology and usually got his hands on it when he could afford it. We had one of the first Panasonic "bag" phones that weighed about 15 lbs and was larger than a computer. But man, that was the coolest thing ever. I mean, how neat was it to be able to call someone (at 35 cents a minute or whatever the rate was. I think I'm close) from the car. You would have thought that the invention of cellphones would have made life SO much easier. That it would've made relationships so much stronger.

Instead, we've allowed cell phones to weigh our lives down with extra activities, job calls, interruptions, to name a few. I know for one, my kids hate it when they've finally got my attention for whatever story or bug or game they want to show me and the first thing I do it grab my phone and take it with me...knowing that someone will text me or call me. They feel like they come second to my almighty cell phone, and in a way, they do. (Sometimes...) Come on, I'm not alone out there. This is going on in every family that I can think of, with the exception of my father who lives alone and doesn't annoy anyone while he uses 1500 minutes a month bothering all of his relatives with his depressing views of the world. Seriously, what happened to the days where if you left your house and God forbid, someone called and missed you, they LEFT A MESSAGE. And when you got back home, you'd call them back. WTF. What are we so afraid of: that we'll miss the Golden Opportunity of a lifetime? Someone wants to go T.G.I. Friday's for dinner? Oh man, we missed our chance!!!

And speaking of relationships, when was the last time someone actually used their cell phone to "call" someone? I have friends (and a mother) who won't even pick up their phone. You HAVE to text them if you want to say something. It's like small talk has completely closed it's doors and let's get down to business Ladies and Gentlemen. I'm not saying that I like small talk chat, because basically, I don't. It's just another way that the cellphone is trying to destroy our life by destroying relationships.

I will tell you, I just can't stand myself lately. I hate that I can be having a great time, trying to be excited about hearing my son tell me how to play HALO and which weapons do what and how many shots it takes to kill the bad guy with each one, and then my phone beeps with a text. Stone just glazes over, almost like to say "yeah, I figured that would happen and you wouldn't actually listen to me until I was finished." I feel like I have deprived him of so many decent conversations and that one day, that window will close and he won't share anything with me any longer, and he'll find someone who will listen to him until he's finished. And unfortunately, he will do the same for them and it'll probably not be of things that I want him to hear or know! I mean, isn't that how the majority of children get started doing drugs? They try to communicate with their pathetic parents, who blow them off so they can have a good time with their own friends, or MAKE DINNER, or check their emails. But they get nothing. Except interruptions. I had my daughter say to me the other day "I'm too busy right now." She's 2. I made the comment "Where'd she hear that?" when my son QUICKLY chimed in "you say it to her all the time mom, when you're on the computer!" My heart sank and so did my soul at the same time.

You see, it's ridiculous that we, as parents, can't see that emails, cellphones and TV suck the life out of US, not the kids. They actually learn from it. Not us. We don't need anymore useless information, we simply use it to dull the dead spots in our lives. Let me tell you, if your children annoy you, it's because they have to do everything that they can to get your attention. You have failed as a parent if your kids annoy you. They are a direct result of the effort you've put into them.

I cannot let another day go by where I say to my 2 year old that "Mom's too busy." Do I need a plan of action for after tonite, YES. I am heading in that direction right now...The kitchen table. To sit. To reflect. To see where my life needs to go. Blogging is fun, emails are fun, texting is contagious, to see my daughter function her way around YouTube is awesome. (Something she's learned on her own, basically...She's 2, remember?) I love that she knows all her colors and letters (since 20 months). But I cannot take the credit. TV, my 8 year old son, and YouTube takes the credit, they did the teaching. But not anymore. I am going to regain my parental rights by starting to act like one again.

If you read this post and I'm not here, please leave a comment and I'll get right back to ya!

Life is just plain nuts. Lemons into lemonade, I think not. At least not for me. More like bubble gum into a hard but sticky, gooey mess.

It's been a long year and I have SO looked forward to this summer and getting to do a few fun things with the kids and Bob. We saved quite a few outings and get-aways for the month of August and just as I thought things are were looking good... BANG, literally. Our 1st "little" outing was a night at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino. This was last Sunday (July26th). The night was going well, we just finished dinner with some good friends. When I went to the room to find out why my husband and son went there instead of waiting for us in the lobby... I found Stone crying on the bed with a SUPER swollen ankle. Apparently he had jumped down 7 stairs and landed the jump perfectly (or in gymnastics terms "he stuck it"). However, the sheer impact of landing on a hard concrete floor cracked his growth plate vertically in the ankle.

Well, we didn't actually figure that out until late Monday night, when the swelling hadn't gone down and it was starting to get red. Took him to After-Hours Pediatrics where they x-rayed it and saw the break. So on Tuesday we went to the Jewitt Walk-In Clinic and had it casted. Stone was so excited that he got up and hopped the happy dance. CRUTCHES and a HOT PINK cast. He just couldn't believe his luck. This meant that HE was now the special one in the house and NOT his sister. (In need of attention anyone??) This also meant that Mom would do just about anything to please him and make him more comfortable. This would not mean that Mom would sit for hours and play Xbox games, although I do enjoy a game of Links now and then... however, that did not stop him from asking. I'm sorry, but there is only so much sitting and watching of him play Spiderman or some other game that makes me dizzy that I can take. Honestly, how many other moms out there can do that??

On Tuesday night the happy dance turned into the itchy dance. Stone wanted that cast off. "It itches and my other leg hurts," he said. I replied with a quick "it'll be off in 29 more days, enjoy the attention." He agreed that his ankle did feel better with the cast, and he definitely loves the attention, but he still hated the itching.

About 2 weeks ago, Linda, the most wonderful salesperson Bloomingdales in Orlando has (you're great too, Will), called me and asked if Stone would like to be in their "Back to school" fashion show. Surprisingly, Stone said yes (there's that attention thing again). So on Tuesday afternoon after the cast, I called her and told her what happened. I explained that Stone would be able to walk and participate, but that he had a HOT PINK cast and could she just go ahead and pick out an outfit that would somewhat go with that. In the past we have gone down to Bloomie's and picked out something to wear, but at this point, I really didn't care. So when Saturday came, we showed up right on time, put Stone in a really cool Lacoste shirt and Ralph Lauren cargo shorts and he looked awesome. (He was the only one in a cast too, btw).

Well, 5 days later he started complaining that his foot was moving around in the cast and it was starting to hurt. So I took him in this morning, they took off the cast and after giving me time to wash his foot and rub it a little, they re-cast it in a nice 2-tone green (I forgot to take another photo of the finished product). I have to agree that after smelling his foot post cast removal, that I was hopeful that they would offer to let us have a nice "soft" cast. This was not the case. In their opinion, boys his age need to have a hard cast on otherwise they end up breaking it further.

So here we are, back to my month of MUCH needed vacation getaway time. On Aug. 6 we were headed to Steinhatchee for 3 nights to do some scalloping with some dear friends. Friends that we don't get to hang out with all that much and we LOVE so much. CANCELLED. On Aug. 13 we were headed to Daytona Beach for 3 nights for some beach R & R. CANCELLED.

Holy crap! How do you get 11 days away from renewal and self-preservation and have it all be crushed in an instant?? A broken ankle, that's how. And yet, no one seems to notice that mom is slowly fading away, spirit broken. Will I be able to pull myself out of this funk with the new school season upon us in a mere 14 days? Probably not. But no one will notice and then I will eventually move on and realize that this life is all about being able to fall down (broken ankle and all) and slowly picking yourself up just to get that cup of coffee (or 3) and going back about your life.

Excitement & Discovery: Snake Babies

On July 13th at about 10 a.m., our 1st of 7 snake eggs hatched. And slowly throughout the day the remaining 6 hatched out. We were the proud new mamas for these little snakes, which measured about 12 inches long.

Thinking that since they would be born into captivity, they might be somewhat tame and immediately used to us and quite possibly... not strike at us. However, let me tell you, these little baby black racers came out of the egg with a striking force. Nature. My son was quite crushed, not afraid, just sad that the snakes wouldn't give him a chance to be their friend. However, snake #5 was quite pleasant. He (or she) would sit on his hand and wouldn't bite and Stone was in his own little heaven.

We did have a little bit of trouble with Snake #7. He stuck his head out of the shell and then sat there for quite a long time. He looked fine and so I told Stone he wasn't to touch him and to let him enter this world all on his own. For once, he listened, and he watched intently to see if he'd moved. An hour went by, nothing. Another hour, nothing. So I told him if he didn't move within the current hour, he had my permission to pick it up and break the shell. Well, that happened and when it did, the snake was dead. Very strange because it looked completely healthy and content. (Little did we know he had been dead for all that time.)

I made a deal with my son that he could keep the snakes for 5-6 days and then release them. He enjoyed them so much. Every day, several times a day, he would go outside and pick them up...Catch them tiny lizards to eat, olding them, letting them crawl all over him, letting his sister hold them. It was quite a site. I enjoyed every minute of it. However, on day 3, when Stone woke up, he noticed that all but 1 of the snakes were missing out of his cage. He had forgotten to zip the screen enclosure he was keeping them in. Now, mind you, the night before I told him to MAKE SURE that the snakes were secure. He assured me that there was NO WAY they could get out. However, he was proven wrong yet once again by his nagging mother.


And then there was one. Unfortunately this was not the "nice" one. It would strike at him often, but once he got him in his hand, the snake would sit pretty still, wrapping his tail around one of Stone's fingers. Stone got quite friendly with the snake, catching him food: tiny baby lizards that were all over our patio and yard. The snake seemed quite content...

Now, for the other 5 that were loose somewhere on my patio... that's been a real mystery. However, 2 days ago I was watering some of my plants and found a complete snake skin in the rocks on the patio. So I guess they are still there...growing. One day I fear that I will have 5 large snakes overtaking my patio. Like the movie "Snakes on a Plane," it'll be "Snakes on the Patio."

Well, time was up for Stone and the snake and it was time for the him let the snake go out into the world. On Friday night, we released him into the yard. He moved so quickly that we lost him within seconds. However, I know we'll be seeing them ALL in the future.

Snake Eggs and Abortion

So, about a month ago, I was driving home down my street when a neighbor flagged me down. I thought he was waving so I waved and continued driving. In my rear-view mirror I noticed him, but this time it was a definite flagging down. I backed up the minivan and rolled down the window. Mike (a/k/a Mr. Greenjeans) said he was doing some landscaping and when he lifted up a concrete block, there were 8 eggs under it. So he thinks they are snake eggs and is wondering if I'd be interested in taking them home for Stone. Now, any reasonably sane woman would scream "HELL NO!" I mean, what's he thinking? What am I going to do with 8 eggs that we don't even know what they are?? He must be nuts! However, my response was quite the opposite. I grinned quickly and said "Sure, I'll be right back!" I quickly drove 3 houses down, jumped out of the van, yelled for my son and husband and the rest is history...

This was 4 weeks ago and nothing has happened. We put the eggs in a small plastic tank and covered them with a flat rock. Stone's been putting a misting of water in them whenever it doesn't rain. But still...nothings happened. Then my son (mind you he's been home schooled for 2 years and we've already started our 3rd year) says, "Mom, I think we should sacrifice one of the eggs and see if they're growing and what they are." And once again, any fairly sane, normal person would probably say "What??" But I agreed with him. I didn't want 8 eggs sitting on my patio rotting. I mean, secretly l was quite curious as to what they were too. We've never been so "lucky" as to find eggs this size. They are about 1.5" in length.

So as it goes, I let him crack one of the eggs open. Wow! When I say that I had no idea what was about to happen, I mean I HAD NO IDEA WHAT WAS ABOUT TO HAPPEN! The egg was very soft, so it wasn't like cracking open a chicken egg from the refrigerator. He had to pry into the egg to open it. When he did, the amniotic fluid drained out and out came a 6 inch long SNAKE, completely clear, with 2 big black eyes. The best part (sarcasm) is that it's breathing. Yes, it's breathing and took several breathes there on the rock he was cracked open on for about a minute. It was about the saddest thing we had ever seen. It was so sad knowing that we were so curious to see what was inside that we were willing to "sacrifice" it and watch it die a slow, painful death.

My son didn't seem as moved as I was. It was way too interesting to 1. find out that it was indeed a snake and 2. there were 6 inches of snake crammed into that little egg!

So now we wait, knowing that there are 7 more of these little snakes just readying themselves for us. Every day, several times a day, we check on them to make sure they haven't hatched without us noticing. My husband doesn't seem to mind, however, he HATES snakes as well as all of the other little rodents, insects and mammals Stone catches and brings into the house. He's a trooper though. Especially since it's usually him that has to take care of these things when it comes down to it. Seriously, Stone thinks he's the next Steve Irwin, but he is just 8, I mean, 8 and 1/2. And seeing as I have a 2 yr old to also take care of, Bob is really a great husband to do all of these things for me (and Stone).

When the snakes hatch, I'll post photos. This should be interesting as I am of the opinion we release them as soon as they hatch, but Stone wants to set up a "snake home."

I have created a monster!

P.S. Oh, did I forget to mention the giant Hawk that keeps landing on my screen enclosure watching the eggs?? That's another freaky story...

An introduction

So, it's official: I'm the last person in America to blog. But at 37, I'm finally needing to get things off my chest and onto the screen. If no one reads, it's OK. I don't need any gratification from these posts. It's simply a way to get to sleep faster at night.

I will be blogging about all sorts of interesting nuggets. Here's the first thing you need to know: I've been married to a wonderful man, Bob, for almost 15 years now. I have 2 great kids, Stone 8 and Shalyn 2 (pronounced ShayLynn), whom I homeschool. The homeschooling part is definitely why this blog is being created. Mom needs a way to vent. Homeschooling and being a mother to a toddler is just so much harder than I had expected.

So for anyone who happens upon my blog, I promise never to overwrite, but I will be very detailed in every aspect, giving insight to anyone who wants to know what it's like to be me. Look for it every week, starting now. I'll be posting photos, mostly of the kids and what not.

Tara